Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Eight

I never thought I'd want this more than I do right now. I never thought I'd be at this point in my life so soon. I never thought it'd take so long. I never thought I'd be writing about this.

These are my thoughts on how I feel about this point we've reached in our relationship. This point being, trying to conceive.

It's been eight months now of trying...and failing. People say it's the stress, that we're not trying enough....what's to stress about? It's making love with your prince charming, it's natural, it's what we do.

It's been eight months of witnessing one sister in law get pregnant, three friends & now more recently, another sister in law. I couldn't be more happier for the friends, but it's kind of hit home for family. I can't say I'm happy for them, I can't feel that joy for them. I feel bad that I feel this way, I just look at it as...why them, why not us?

I keep wondering if there's something wrong with me or maybe the hubby. I keep holding off going to the doctor, in fear of what they may say.

Never in my life did I see my future like it has been laid out in front of me...but I'm also saying that I have no regrets. What has happened in my life has made me the person I am today. The mistakes I've made, I've learned from them. I feel stronger and happier than I have ever been.

These past three years have made me grow up quite quickly. My timeline goes as this:
August~Move out of my parents September~Meet my husband October~Engaged
November~Pregnant January~Married August~ Welcome a baby boy!

It seemed so easy to conceive...then. I never thought I'd be trying eight months or more. That 2009 baby has now become a 2010 baby, it may become a 2011 baby at the rate we're going.

I'm being patient in our wait, but with each negative test comes disappointment. Whenever God blesses us with the opportunity to become parents for the second time, I will be delighted.

All I want is healthy baby, boy or girl. A chance to do things differently with the second pregnancy. A chance to become a better mom; not only to a newborn but to our amazing son, Kainen.

I'm blessed to have such an amazing support group, my husband and my son. They are the best things in my life and I love them with all my heart. All you need is love....and family



Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations
Jeremiah 1:5

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Mother, Daughter Time

Last week, my mom came to visit us for a couple of days. It felt just like the good ole' days and I enjoyed our time spent together. Since moving here, an hour and a half away from my family, things have drastically changed. I had to make new friends, learn how to be on my own, and manage to get around an unfamiliar area. I've grown up alot in the past two years, even more in these past few months. It's crazy!
My mom had this past week off, she called me Tuesday and told me she was heading up the next day to come visit. I was so happy and I couldn't wait until the next day. I miss my mom and any chance I get to spend time with her, I jump on it! Wednesday she came up just in time for me to head out to my doc appointment, kid free...and I think her for that. After my appointment we headed out to Tot Trade, a huge consignment sale for kids. I'm glad I went, we got some cute outfits for Kainen...took advantage of the 60% sale. The next day we had plans to head to the lake, but unfortunately, it was already closed for the season. She was looking forward to a day at the beach, in the sun. However, she did get to see what it looks like out there...and the dam, it's an amazing site. We headed home and changed our plans to the pool. It was definitely some cold water, but Kainen had a blast and both mom and I got a little bit of last chance summer sun :-) We headed out to the mall afterwards because my mom was in need of some new clothes. It's always nice to go on a little shopping session with your mom. I helped her pick out a couple shirts, even one she didn't like on the hanger...she ended up buying it in two colors! My mom was so great, even after a day of shopping, she cooked us dinner...and it was yummy. The next day we headed out for even more shopping. This time we checked out Sandhills, an outdoor shopping center. I had to drag her out there, it has a Kirkland's and everyone knows we're addicted to that place. *When we get a house, it will be full of stuff from there* It was another fun day of shopping with her, I wish we could hang out more. She was so great, because once again...being out all day, she let the hubby and I have a date night. Something we haven't done since we've moved here. Unfortunately, we got rained out on a date and headed home a little early. We came home to her doing our laundry, and she had already cleaned our kitchen and a bathroom. It was a very nice thing for her to do and I'm grateful for her help. Then comes our last day, Saturday came to fast. We went out to our last rendezvous together, breakfast at Waffle House. I loved having her here and enjoyed every moment I spent with here. If only we could do that once a month...I'll have to ask her about doing that. LOL
I always enjoy mother daughter time. When I lived 20 minutes away, I use to meet her for lunch. On the weekends or on her days off, we'd usually do the same or maybe a quick shopping trip. I definitely miss the time with my mother. It's something I wish I had here :-(

I'm thankful for such a great mother and I feel blessed to know that God chose her to be mine!
I love you mom!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Wordful Wednesday

It's premiere week!! Another reason why I love fall, all my favorite shows return :-)

These are all my favorite shows that I never miss an episode of. Well, sometimes I do...but that's why they invented the DVR box! My life is now complete, now that these shows are back. I'm no longer searching for something to watch or sitting at home during a rainy day. I'm busy catching up on missed episodes on my DVR or actually watching the show, if I could be so lucky. If you've never seen any of these shows, you don't know what you're missing!

It all started on Monday with House! I wish he was my doctor :-) He's sarcastic but yet thorough. You can't forget his addiction to Vicodin, but after a recent stunt in rehab, who knows what's going to happen this season. I think that makes it even more exciting.

House MD Pictures, Images and Photos

There's CSI: Miami, my only choice out of the few CSI's that are out there. But once again you have a character that draws you in. Horatio Caine's cheesy one line openers for each episode! Then of course you have the suspense of finding out the killer, but I think that's in every law related television show nowadays. Great show, though...I still watch reruns of it, too!

csi Pictures, Images and Photos



Oh my, does The Biggest Loser outdo themselves each year. With each episode, I think there's not ever a tear falling down my cheek. This season has the most heaviest contestants then year's past, and it even has a tearjerker contestant. A lady who had lost her husband, 2 week old baby and 5 year old daughter in a car crash. But you know, it just makes you think...she's got God on her side because she's moving on with her life and trying to make it better. You should check out Biggest Loser if you've never seen it.

Biggest Loser! Pictures, Images and Photos

Flipping out....Literally. It's like, no pun intended. You have a guy, Jeff Lewis, who makes a living by flipping houses. Jeff is also very OCD, so flipping out is what he does best too! :-) It's a great show, he gives me a laugh every time I watch.

flipping out Pictures, Images and Photos


Tyra Tyra Tyra! This year she has outdone herself. She has cast nothing but short girls for this season. As you can tell, the tallest is a mere 5'6". Of course, there's a girl from here, and go figure, she's just representing us all wrong!! It's definitely an interesting season...and so far I can't call out the winner, but then again...I've only done it once or twice before!

america's next top model Pictures, Images and Photos

I can't believe SYTYCD is already back, it seems like it just ended. Wait....it did!! Not that I'm complaining or anything, I love this show :-) There are a couple of people I'm already WOW'd by and I can't wait to see more. As of now, they're still in the auditioning phase, which is not only the best time to watch but the funniest, too. It's just like American Idol, you have people with great talent and then you have those that are there making a fool of themselves. But hey, it's always nice to see the sprinkler and lawn mower resurrected!

DANCE Pictures, Images and Photos


Top Chef, speaks for itself. A show about finding the top chef of the season. I always enjoy watching this show. Not that I'm a good cook, or even a cook...period. It's interesting to see what's out there and how each chef interprets something so delicious, or even totally disgusting, out of the ingredients they're provided. I've been a fan since season 2 :-)

Top Chef Pictures, Images and Photos


Law & Order SVU, love that show. Along with CSI, I also enjoy watching reruns of SVU. Not only do they have an amazing cast, love Mariska Hargitay, but they always have such good plots that just drag you in. Every once in a while they'll bring in stories that have been heard before, but interpret it in their own way. I'd have to say the vacinations episode they showed last season was definitely an eye opener to me! I will not miss an episode this year. They've even moved to a new night, so don't miss out. "They're protecting Wednesday nights!"

Law And Order SVU Pictures, Images and Photos


Here you have a spin off of Grey's Anatomy and it's definitely got the potential. It left us left year with a cliffhanger, as well as Greys *go figure*, and I can't wait for it to premiere. Of course, you have the love triangles, disputes, etc that any other show has!

private practice Pictures, Images and Photos

This show is the greatest one made...it's smart, witty, and sad all at the same time. Here you have America Ferrera playing a latina who works for a fashion magazine, in which you automatically know she has no fashion sense. It's a good story all around and I love this show.

Ugly Betty Pictures, Images and Photos


AAAAhhhhh, my addiction!! I love love love Grey's Anatomy :-) I mean, it has Patrick Dempsey, whom I've been a fan of ever since Loverboy!! Can't forget Katherine Heigl who I remember in My Father the Hero. Did I say it was an addiction??? who knows, maybe it's my guilty pleasure! Like I said before, they left us with a cliffhanger...well sort of. Everyone pretty much knows the ending and I must say I'm a little disappointed.

However, it will not keep me away, no way Jose!

Greys anatomy avatar Pictures, Images and Photos

I've watching Amazing Race ever since it first aired. I think it's on it's 14th season or so. It's a very good reality show! Ordinary people race around the world and get faced with cultural shock, physical and mental challenges, and meet new people. I've always wanted to sign up for this show, but I can't figure out who'd compete with me. Any takers?

The amazing race Pictures, Images and Photos


A show about a bunch of "pretty" ( i say that lightly) women who live on Wysteria Lane. Of course, you know it's full of gossip, love triangles, murders, etc. A real eye catcher! It's a bummer they killed off Edie :-( but I think this year is going to be the best. They changed it about a year or so ago, they aged the episodes by a good 5-7 years...crazy, I know. I think it's made the show better. I can't wait for the season premiere on Sunday!

Desperate housewive Pictures, Images and Photos

Then you have all these new shows! I can't believe there are so many. Is there really the room for new tv? Have old shows been replaced? Its crazy how many there are. Once again, not complaining...it gives me more to watch. Below are the shows I'm checking out :-)

Accidentally on Purpose, Eastwick, Mercy, Modern Family, Cougar Town, Flash Forward

**Maybe I have no life, it seems like I watch a lot of TV. In reality, I record everything and watch them while my child sleeps. It's my me time...and the best part, I can fast forward through commercials and the boring parts**

Happy Fall everyone!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Candid @ iHeartFaces



I love getting candid shots, you can always tell the emotion behind each smile and the look in their eyes.
We like to have family get togethers and I always try to have my camera ready. Luckily for me, Kainen decided to share his love with his Big Daddy at this particular event.
Any other time I would ask Kainen to give him lovin' and he'd just give him a quick hug or not even budge.
This instance, I actually got the shot and I couldn't be more happier about the outcome.
I adore the look in Kainen's eyes and the love that radiates between them.
The bond between a great-grandfather and his great-grandson are never ending.
I will share this picture with Kainen years from now to let him know how much he was loved by this sweet man!


Head over to iHeartFaces and check out all the other candid shots!
If only we all could be so lucky :)

Fall is in the Air



Fall is in the air and it's one of my favorite seasons.


I love the color changes in nature, the different aromas that fill the air & stores.


I love the festive season that includes Halloween and Thanksgiving.


It's just an all around great season!



Pumpkin picking is going to be one of my favorite parts in the coming month. Align Center I think it'll be more fun for Kainen this year, too.



Fall harves Pictures, Images and Photos



I wish I could go to the mountains this fall. I haven't been during this time in quite some while. It's definitely a beautiful sight. This picture reminds me of our travels to the mountains.



fall Pictures, Images and Photos



Like I said, beautiful sight! The mountains are all topped with the changing leaves.The trees if different shades of oranges, browns and reds. I just love God's creations!



Fall Color Pictures, Images and Photos



I can't wait until the leaves actually start to change. I'm definitely going to embark on an adventure and start walking trails in the area with Kainen.







fall Pictures, Images and Photos



And just for fun, here's a peak of Kainen's halloween costume. He's going to be a pirate! Of course, I chose the outfit for this year. I figured it was going to be the last time I would be able to choose. It helped tremendously when I showed him the picture, the first thing out of his mouth was AAAAAAAARrrrrrgggggg! I can't wait :-)

Monday, September 21, 2009

Weeks in review, through Pictures!

Here's Kainen in the huge tractor tire at the State Museum.
He loved being in there, you can tell by the excited expression on his face!

There's a new weatherman in town, haven't you heard?
Let me introduce him to you all, heeeeerrrrreeee's Kainen!
He was very smart, too.
He pointed at all the nasty weather,
even showed the direction it was pushing towards ;-)
The beach walkthrough at the Museum.
Almost looks a little too real in pictures!
Kainen loved seeing the birds up close

I love the few, great pictures that we did get at the park.
I just adore family pictures from behind <3
The fountain adds a dramatic effect, I think.
This is my favorite of all of us.
HAHA, even though you can't see our faces!
My two boys, sporting their best Bear's gear!
Doesn't Kainen look so excited?
:-0

I just love how happy Kainen is here!


What's gonna work? Teamwork!

Here are Daddy & Son feeding the geese. Daddy giving Kainen the nudge, of course



Such a happy family <3<3





My two boys, fooling around under the tree!



My most favorite picture of them.
Jason is such a great dad
I love the bond they have now
&
that will grow fonder as the years pass.


The best for last.
Mommy & Son






This is my weeks in review, through pictures! I need to get better at taking more pictures during the week. Which really means, I need to get out of the house more often ;-)
I love my family and the outings we have. I can't wait for the ones that lie ahead!

Bad Blogger Blues

I've got the bloggin' blues.....I've missed coming here and jotting down the recent happenings in our life! I'm such a bad blogger & I apologize to my readers for my recent absenses. I promise to become a better blogger, not just for myself, but for my followers, too. You found me somehow & you liked what I had to write about...I'd love to keep you around! :-) I'm going to blog another post right after this one, just to share pictures of those recent happenings. There's so many of them to post here along with these words I write.
It's been a very uneventful past couple of weeks & may I say, a sickly weekend. But here's to catch you up on the past 2 weeks or so. Hopefully, after this post I will get back on the blogging hog and write every day. They may not hold many pictures, so I hope I still grab most of yall's attention *ahem Sara :-)*.
Labor day weekend was a blast, Sara came up from Charleston to spend the weekend with us. I always love when she comes to visit, my weekends with her never have a dull moment...and I hope she feels the same way. HAHA She introduced me to my new favorite place, Ikea! I can say that I hate her for that, but I love her so much for the introduction! I believe I've become addicted, and I'm super stoked that it's only an hour and a half from my home rather than the 3 hours from my old home of Charleston. I can't wait until we get a house because I will definitely be heading back there to stock up on stuff for our new place. The lovely friend that I have, helped me out alot, by purchasing a table that I loved & she took a check in return from us...since we were broke. I still owe you, don't worry! Thanks Sara<3> ME, who just had knee surgery the week prior...that mall was not my friend. I still enjoyed my time there, as it was mostly window shopping.The next time I go, I'll make sure I have some moolah to spend. On that Sunday, we checked out the State Museum here in Cola. I haven't been there since my niece was about 2 or so and even before then, it must've been years! We took advantage of the $1 Sunday program they have going on. It was fun for all of us, even Kainen.
My hubby just celebrated his 22nd birthday back on the fourteenth. It was a huge bummer that he had to work late. However, we took our monthly *my biweekly :-P* trip to Charleston to have a birthday dinner with my family. I left before my hubby and headed down Friday while he was still in work. Keno was that night, a game that I was introduced to a year ago....boy has time flown by. It's the greatest game ever and it was nice to hang out with the girls again. It was nice to actually go home with gifts,too...3 to be exact! I went with my sister, the next morning...bright and early to the Repeats Sale. I was quite disappointed, some people overprice their stuff and most of the good ones were already taken because of all the pre-sales they did. Sunday we had a redo of our family photos since my sister got a new camera. We headed down to Hampton Park, a place I hadn't been to in over a decade...but it was still just as beautiful so many years later! I have to say that having pictures done almost 2 years after a first shoot as a family...there were some major changes. Kainen was easily distracted, but it probably didn't help that the photographer was his Auntie. He's usually such a ham for photographers. I think we're going to give it another try within the next couple of weeks, but this time with someone different behind the camera. Alicia is a fellow blogger that coincidentally lives in the same area as I and she will be our photographer next time around!
As of right now, it's the start of a new week. I'm looking at it now and seeing that it's going to be uneventful...bummer. I've been battling a sinus/cold since Friday. It's slowly going away, each symptom disappearing one by one. It's nice to finally breathe through my nose! AAaaahhhh

Here's to hoping for a great week...and may yours be just as good, maybe even better! :-) <3

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Contemplative


This week over at iHeartFaces , the theme is Contemplative.

definition: thoughtful observation; full or deep consideration; dreamily or wistfully thoughtful: a pensive mood; expressing or revealing thoughtfulness; quiet modes of apparent or real thought; can be marked by some sadness, but doesn't have to be."

This picture of Kainen was taken this past weekend, during a break of our family photo shoot. There were so many dogs around & he ran up to each and every one of them and just hugged and loved each one. In attempts to distract him & tear him away from the pup, he eased every so slowly towards the trunk of the tree...deep in thought, deciding his next move! You had to have been there to know what was going through his mind. Of course, in my mind, he was definitely thinking of a way to just stay there all day & chat with the lovely canine that lies under that tree. This is definitely one of my most favorite shots of Kainen.
He's a great specimen, but I'm partial :-)


Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Trying Tuesday

Yes, it has been a very trying day! I had every intention of writing a blog yesterday to share with everyone my lovely present my hubby got me :) So without further ado....


I was supposed to introduce everyone to Ruby yesterday as a part of
Amanda's Mutt Monday.
She is a 7 week old Lab Husky Collie mix,
a true mutt... but a cute one at that!
Ruby is actually one of the contributors to my Trying Tuesday. Aaahhh, the joys of having a puppy! It's been two years since we've had to deal with training a puppy. The good thing is, she was used to being outside already, so she's really good about doing her business outside. She's just not so great on letting us know.
Kainen is another contributor, boy has he been testing my patience today. Maybe I should rename it to Testing Tuesday. Since my baby boy has turned two, he's done nothing but say no to everything I say...talk about the terrible twos!
I need to try and just relax...I've been quite irritable these past couple of days. I've had a lot on my mind these past couple of weeks and I think it's just getting to me. Luckily, I had a very great Labor Day weekend to take my mind off things. I'm going to try and not let it all bother me and discuss my issues...Let Go & Let God, as I've said before :-)

Friday, September 4, 2009

Finally Friday- Catch Up Day

Am I even allowed to say that? As a stay at home mom, every day is Friday to me! It's been a very productive week, as you can tell by my absence. I'm going to try and get better at posting daily, try being the key word :-) Last weekend was very eventful, a little too much for me though. My Uncle, from Chicago, was in town for his yearly visit. Having moved away, it was different than last year. I didn't get to spend much time with him and I'm a little disappointed. He's one of my favorite uncles and to make it better he's got the best boyfriend! We all adore Roberto. They were at my wedding and boy can Roberto dance. We all did the train and there he was behind my mom, pretty much dry humping her to the music. It was the best time and I'm stoked that our photographer got that shot. Anyways, back to the weekend! We had two get togethers and you know in the south, that means yummy food. I think I gained five pounds over the weekend. Saturday was at my grandmothers and she made yummy chicken and rice casserole..and not your typical Campbell's soup recipe, much different and much better! She rarely cooks anymore, which is a total bummer, but when she does she goes all out. She even made two cakes, a yummy Red Velvet and a Coconut cake. I love my Mimi and her cooking! What made my weekend even better was getting to go out with my hubby that night. We had a friend tag along and it was fun. We went to a local bar and had a couple of drinks and listened to a live band. I watched the boys play drunken pool and darts, I eventually joined in on the darts. I have to say that at one point I was ahead...but we stayed until the bar closed so we didn't get to finish that game. Let me just throw it out there too, I love my hubby...and I don't mind the drunk hubby because he's so sweet and says the nicest most loving things...but it just does not sit well with him. HAHA On to Sunday and another day of food and fun..this time in the sun. I totally did not come prepared for that. After having surgery and all, legs weren't shaved and one was swollen. I did not want to show all that off by wearing shorts, no way Jose! My other uncle through this bash and luck for me, they live out on a river so it wasn't so miserable out there. Once again, I stuffed my face! I started off with tortilla chips and salsa, about four plates...then came the dish, a hamburger and chicken breast. Accompanying that was a yummy spinach and artichoke pasta and mac n cheese. To top it all off, a very tasty Carvel ice cream cake!! I think I have a new favorite place to get ice cream cakes. Overall, it was a very exciting weekend. It went by way too quickly and boy was I feeling the pain Sunday night. After being home only ten minutes, I was on the couch icing and elevating the knee.
My hubby and I celebrated being together, dating-wise, for three years yesterday! Boy has time flown by. He had a day off from work, so we took that day and cleaned up the house together...I hope it can stay cleaner for longer than a day or two! He also got me a very cute present, but you'll have to wait until Monday to know what :-)
Another exciting weekend is ahead of me. My friend Sara is coming up to take a little getaway. We've planned some fun things and I'm excited to actually be getting out and enjoying myself. Especially with this fall like weather we've been experiencing. We may take a day trip to Charlotte to Ikea, heard that place is fabulous! Shopping, movies, alcohol are all on our list of to dos this weekend. It'll be great!
Happy Friday everyone! Have a safe Labor day weekend :-)